His Awkward Love
by Shirai Phoenix
Summary: "This little shit went to the market and got butchered up into bacon." Levi may or may not be the best man to go to when depressed. Collaboration with Eternal White Rose; WE REGRET NOTHING. Just random humor, and some cuteness alert.


**Hiya, guys! I'm back! After _well_ over 3 months of absence, I am BACK.**

**ENVY (my laptop) HAS BEEN BROKEN T-T **

**A screw of the back plate came loose and fell inside the fan, consequently breaking that as well. We sent him to the hospital (Read: the technician) and they said they would fix it, but the bastards shipped the pieces from HONG KONG, so they said it was gonna take at LEAST a month for them to get them. So we waited one month and went back to check, they said it STILL wasn't fixed, so we went again after ANOTHER MONTH, and THE BASTARDS TOLD US THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO FIX ENVY, SO MY LAPTOP IS STILL BROKEN. But then today, when I finished college, my dad picked me up and I found this new laptop waiting for me on the passenger's seat! It's a black Dell and it looks sexy as hell.**

**GUYS. I PRESENT TO YOU NERO, THE LAPTOP I AM CURRENTLY USING FOR TYPING THIS STORY.**

**"Red Petals" (collaboration with _Eternal White__ Rose_, you should totally check her out—she's the Queen of Tragedy, I swear, and OMG, HER RINTORI FICS ARE SO UNF) will be updated next (on Rose's page, not mine, but hey, it's a story about GACKT and Yuuya Matsushita and DAIGO from _BREAKERZ_, who doesn't LOVE those men?), followed by "I Need a Doctor" (because I know you guys are DYING for that story to be updated, and so am I, because STUFF WILL HAPPEN SOON *cough*).**

**But for now, please enjoy this fluffy/inane Riren story, brought to you by yours truly and Rose! We legit started messaging on fb one day and this came out. We're such dorks, RIGHT, LOVE? Right.**

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><p><em>"Eren, run! Please, Eren, take Mikasa and run away...go!" <em>_Carla's words rang loud and clear in his ears, laced with terror and hope—hope for him to listen, to turn his back on her and save himself. But her voice seemed to be forced out, as if something was making it impossible for her to speak properly._

_And maybe it was because of the gaping hole in her stomach, caused by the ruins of their house that had fallen on her, or the Titan's hand squeezing her tiny waist, only a hair away from snapping her in half. She was in pain, he could see it clearly on her expression and the way her whole body shook (though it could have been her fear, too), but she still screamed—_begged—_at him to go, go, _go_, run to safety—_live_._

_Eren wanted to help her, he really did, but his body refused to move. It was as if he was being restrained by tight ropes, as if his legs had frozen, fused to the ground beneath his feet. He was yelling, he could tell from the raw pain in his throat, and he was crying, but he couldn't hear any of it; only his mother's pained gasps and moans, her voice raw and slowly dying down to a harsh whisper._

_"Eren,_ please_!" she shouted once more, her words echoing in his hears like the would in a church. _

_And then the Titan moved, and Eren knew by heart what was going to happen—how many times had he dreamed about it, after all? He watched with wide, horrified, teal eyes as the monster brought his hand up to his mouth, his form darkening until all that could be seen was a dark silhouette against the orange and red of the setting sky. _

_There was a loud _crunch!, _blood splattering from the beast's mouth and dripping onto the ground—onto Eren—like crimson rain, and Eren's earth-shattering scream—funny how his voice had decided to return when it was too late—blended in with Carla's in a horrible harmony._

_He screamed until he could taste blood in his mouth from the exertion, his throat scratchy and burning. He screamed even after his mother had been completely devoured, only chunks of her flesh left on the ground, swimming in her own blood._

_All Eren could do was slump to his knees and weep, beating the earth with his fists in frustration and consuming sorrow._

_The world around him suddenly started shaking, and he snapped his tear-filled eyes wide open. But when he raised his head, Shiganshina had started to disappear, along with the Titan and what had remained of his mother. Everything was fading into darkness, the scenery blown away as if it was made of dust, until he found himself surrounded by pitch black. It was cold and unforgiving, and strangely taunting; he was left alone with his depressing thoughts and grief, thoughts of regret and anger._

_"...en..." A feeble voice resounded in his ears, muted. The sound of his own heartbeat accompanied it, getting louder and faster with each shaking breath. "E...en...!" The voice got louder, clearer, and in his broken mind, Eren somewhat recognized it to belong to someone dear to him._

_As the voice got louder, so did the shaking, until all he could feel and hear was the ground shattering beneath him and a constant "Eren...Eren...Eren...!"_

_"_Eren Yaeger!"

A loud smack of skin against skin, a yelped "Ouch!", and Eren was awake.

The teenager snapped upright with a loud gasp and flailing limbs, blankets thrown on the ground and cheek stinging from the awakening slap. As his teal eyes focused on the setting of Levi's bedroom, his breathing evened out and his heart slowed down. His body was still slightly shaking from his night terror, but he was beginning to calm down.

"Oi, brat," he heard the voice from his dream say, and he turned around to meet the grey eyes of an expressionless Lance Corporal Levi. Behind that strict mask, he could see the older man's concern, and it showed even more when he asked, "Are you okay?"

Eren's skin was moist with cold sweat, and he took a deep, shaky breath before answering. "I..." His voice quivered, so he cleared his throat. "I'm okay...yeah, I'm fine now."

Levi eyed him warily, an eyebrow slightly raised. "Are you sure? You were thrashing pretty badly."

The boy nodded. "Yeah, yes...please, don't worry." He laid back down and felt the bed shift under Levi's weight as the shorter male relaxed next to him.

"What had you so restless, Eren?" he asked in a gentle voice, and Eren knew he wouldn't be able to refuse such a caring tone.

"I just...it was just a nightmare, sir," he mumbled shyly, avoiding the other's scrutinizing gaze.

"It didn't seem like _just_ a nightmare, Yaeger." The raven-haired soldier tilted his head to the side, bangs shifting and falling on his face.

The younger man hesitated before finally explaining. "It...it was more of a memory...my last day in Shiganshina, when mom..." he trailed off, unsure of how to continue. His throat constricted as said memories flooded his mind, the echo of a scream ringing in his ears. "I dreamed about the day she...she died." His voice had gone quiet, barely above a whisper. "I was there, I wanted to help her...but my body wouldn't more, and she kept yelling at me to run away and save myself, even as she was dying in the hands of that damned Titan...!" He hadn't realized he had started crying until he felt his lover's hands gently wiping away the tears, caressing his cheek in the process.

"You don't have to talk anymore if it pains you so much, Eren," Levi murmured, eyes roaming the brunet's young, immaculate features. Blue-green eyes were hidden behind eyelids, black lashes brushing still-flushed cheeks. Brown locks bobbed and shifted as Eren nodded his head in understanding, finally reopening his pained eyes and meeting Levi's.

"I'm okay," he repeated in a hushed whisper, leaning in the comforting touch of the hands cupping his face. "What time is it?"

"Around three in the morning," the older man replied. "You still tired?"

"Yeah..." While his memories had been terrifying, his body and mind were still exhausted from the previous day's events and training. "I want to sleep," he continued, "but every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing death and blood, and destruction, Levi..." His voice cracked upon saying the man's name, and he felt the hands tighten on his cheeks, thumbs rubbing circles over his cheekbones. "I keep seeing my mother as she screams in pain and torment. I don't know what to do..." Warm tears welled up in his eyes again, rolling down his face and on Levi's hands before being absorbed by the blankets beneath them.

With no restraint, Levi pulled the brunet in a tight hug, his arms encircling his small waist and hands gently patting the mop of fluffy, brown hair under his nose. Eren returned the much-needed embrace with fervor, burying his face in the crook of his Corporal's neck and breathing in the clean scent of soap. He was rocked back and forth, soft words of reassurance whispered in his hear, until he finally managed to calm down.

"Your mother didn't die in vain, Eren," Levi suddenly said, causing the teen to look up at him with wide eyes. "She gave her life for your because she loved you. It was her choice, so you have no reason to feel guilty about it." When the boy was about to protest, Humanity's Strongest placed a finger on the plump lips to shush him. "If you want to avenge her, then stay true to your promise, Yaeger." He was sure Eren understood what he was talking about. "Your powers will do great things, Eren. Make the best of this chance she gave you."

The young male stared at his superior in awe, heart beating faster at the touching words. The Corporal wasn't a man of many words, but when he did share his thoughts, he always said what his audience needed to hear. The guilt weighting down on his heart slowly (but surely) dissipated, a resolute and strong look filling his eyes. He flashed the shorter man a sweet, grateful smile. "Thank you, Corporal." His statement was accompanied by a tender kiss on the male's lips, who returned the small affection with no hesitation.

"You're welcome, brat." The nickname was said with no bite to it, in fact sounding affectionate. "Now go to bed; you have a long day awaiting you when you wake up again."

To that, Eren an almost sheepish laugh, cheeks flushing. "Uh...about that..."

A long sigh escaped Levi's lips. "What is it?"

"I don't think I can sleep, Corporal. The memories...they're still too fresh..."

A short moment of silence filled the air, broken only when the Lance Corporal got out of the bed and walked towards the bookshelf across the room. "In that case," he said, "I shall assist you in getting your sleep back."

Eren was about to ask how, but the words died in his throat upon seeing the blue-covered book the man came back with. In the low light of the oil lamp on the bedside table, he could make out golden words carved in the leather cover. He blinked in astonishment at the title. "Are you serious, Corporal, sir?"

Levi sent him a sidelong glance and proceeded to open the cover, making his way back in the bed and under the warm sheets (which he had recovered from the ground). "What's wrong, brat?"

"_Nursery Rhymes_? Of all things you could do to help me sleep, you go and read me _nursery rhymes_?" He couldn't even begin to imagine his beloved soldier doing such a thing.

"I'm not going to read them, brat," the strict man corrected.

The boy looked confused at the answer. "Then...what...?"

"I'm going to _sing_ them."

"Oh, God..."

Levi ignored the breathy comment. "So, first song. 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider'."

"Holy shit, you're seriously gonna _do_ this?" Eren asked, still in shock.

The Corporal sighed in annoyance and shot Eren a warning look. "Listen up, you little shit, I'm going out of my way here to actually help you, so you better be grateful, lye down, and shut the fuck up and listen."

"...yes, Corporal Levi, sir," was the immediate response, the teen now a little scared. He fluffed his pillow up and laid it against the headboard before getting comfortable under the blankets. The warmth Levu's body radiated heightened the cozy feeling, and he sighed blissfully.

The ravenet watched as his lover relaxed, a barely-there smile tugging at his lips at the cute sight. He shook his head a little and cleared his throat before looking down at the book. And promptly frowned. "This spider looks fucking mutilated."

If Eren had been drinking anything, he probably would have spit the liquid out or choked on it. "E-Excuse me, _what_?"

Levi pointed at the image of the spider in the book, so the boy could see, too. "This spider," he pointed, "look at how fucking ugly it is."

The teen looked at the picture and then back at his boyfriend with a bewildered look. "It's just a _drawing_ meant for _children_."

"Tch, _so_? Doesn't mean the artist has to do a shitty job portraying the rhymes. I've read adult novels with better images..."

Eren sputtered at the comment, face going red with embarrassment. "You _what_?!"

Levi ignored him. "I'm gonna start calling this the 'Stinky Winky Spider'."

"Wha—"

"Or would 'Stinky Whiny Spider' sound better?"

"N-No! That's just—"

"'Stinky Whiny Spider' it is, then."

Ere glared. "You're not even _listening_ to me!"

"'The Stinky Whiny Spider'...doesn't it remind you of _someone_, Yaeger?" Eren flushed and huffed in indignation, mouth gaping. "Fucking brat..."

Said brat crossed his arms over his chest and scoffed. "W-Whatever..._you're_ the one who loves fucking this brat..."

The Corporal pretended not to hear him, instead focusing back on the book as he began singing (with a surprisingly _good_ voice). "_The Stinky Whiny Spider climbed out the water spout_. I don't know why he climbed it, he has a web, just _live_ there, fuck..."

"Corporal, it's a _song_, it shouldn't make any sen—"

"_Down came the rain and washed the spider out._ Well, maybe if he was on a _web_—"

"Corporal, _please—_"

"And then he died, because spiders can't fucking swim, Yaeger." He looked at the boy and added, "Just like you."

Eren groaned at the comment and rolled his eyes, lips pursed in a cute pout as the Corporal turned the page of the rhyme book. He wondered why he even _had_ such a book in his library. He voiced his thoughts out loud with a slight frown.

"Hange put it there. She used to sing these to her 'darling Titans' all the damn time," Levi replied, rolling his grey orbs at the memory of his subordinate reciting the rhymes to Sawney and Bean.

"I wonder if she told them the same way as you, Corporal?"

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" The older man glared slightly at his lover, his upper lip curling slightly in mock offense.

The Titan-shifter shrugged one shoulder. "Well, I've just never heard someone curse a spider in a _children's song_..."

"It's not my fault the characters of these stupid rhymes are fucking retarded, Yaeger," he replied with a growl, looking back at the book in his hands. As an afterthought, he muttered, "Asshole should have made a web..."

Eren chuckled at the almost childish behavior, but stopped once he saw Levi open his mouth to read yet another song. "Uh...Corporal Levi, sir..." he said before his superior could begin.

"_What_, Yaeger?"

"You don't really have to sing me anything...if you could even call it that..."

"Are you saying I can't sing, you little shit?"

"N-No! Not at all! I just..." he trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"Then shut the fuck up and _listen_," was the Corporal's curt reply, and the teenager did just that. "The next one, apparently, is called 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'," he read. And then paused. "What the _fuck_ kind of title _is_ that? This is horrible literature, no wonder kids never cease their crying with this shit..."

"Uh, sir, it's not really literatu—"

"_Row, row, row,_ you little shit, _gently down the stream. _I don't know why you need a _boat _on a _stream_, because last I checked, you can fucking _walk on streams_. Anyway..._Merrily, merrily, merrily_—why are you so happy, you're in two feet of water."

"I don't think that's the point of thi—"

"_Life is but a dream_," the man interrupted, not even sparing the boy a second glance. After a short, significant pause, he added, "Just kidding, life's a fucking miserable hell."

"Oh, my God..." Eren groaned, the urge to facepalm having never been stronger.

The sound of pages turning filled the room momentarily, and the Titan-shifter saw Levi skip some of the longest nursery rhymers before stopping again.

To none other than "This Little Piggy.

And, of course, Levi just _had _to be Levi and say, "I don't like pigs."

"...that's wonderful...?"

"So I shall rename this to 'This Little Shit', instead, because that's what pigs are—shits. Just like you."

"...of course you would."

And Eren almost fainted or died from laughter (or a combination of both) when Levi grabbed his hand and started naming each finger as he went along with the rhyme. "This little shit went to the market and got butchered up into bacon—"

"Oh, Jesus, great," the brunet groaned. "Now it's a horror story..."

"This little shit stayed home, because he's a fucking _pig_, Yaeger, and pigs don't go roaming around the town."

"Of course they don't, sir. Not even in _fiction_, right?"

"This little shit had some roast beef, but since he's a _pig_, and pigs don't eat meat, he choked on it and died."

"Right."

"This little shit had none because he's a smart motherfucker—you should learn from him, brat. And this little shit cried 'wee wee fucking wee' all the way home, because he's a _pig_ and pigs are fucking retards. Just like you, Yaeger."

A low growl and a huff resounded. "You don't say that when you're screw—"

"Next—"

"Please don't..."

"—is 'Mary Has a Little Lamb." Ew. What the fuck is wrong with her?"

"What now?"

"Do you know how fucking _unsanitary_ sheeps are? All they do is shit and shed all fucking day, it's _disgusting_."

Exasperation, and a hint of insanity, had started seeping in Eren's voice as he replied, "Corporal, she doesn't _really_ have a lamb...Mary doesn't even _exist!_ It's a _children's son—_"

"Shut the fuck up, brat."

"...yes, sir."

Levi's expressionless face focused back on the book in his hands. "_Mary has a little lamb, _good for her. I'm not repeating that three times."

Teal eyes rolled up in frustration. "Then why the fuck even _bothe—_"

"_Its fleece was white as snow._ Actually, snow is clear and only looks white because of the sun's rays reflecting off it, so it's saying that the sheep's fur was clear, which makes it useless."

"_Corporal—_"

"This one's too fucking long, _and_ it repeats itself too much. Sing it to yourself, I'm going to bed." He closed the book with an annoyed frown and unceremoniously threw it on the bedside table.

Eren didn't know if he wanted to breathe out a sigh of relief, scream '_Hallelujah!' _and possibly wake everyone up, or scream in rage at the man. Maybe a mix of all three, but he refrained from doing it. After all, no matter how tremendously horrible the experience had been, Levi had gone out of his way to (try to) do something nice for him. And he had to admit that, although a little traumatizing (and having possibly ruined his entire childhood), his lover's "singing" (it still shocked him that he had such a good singing voice) _had _cheered him up quite a lot.

A gentle smile curved the brunet's lips upwards, and he shuffled closer to Levi until he could snuggle up his side, head on his broad shoulder and arm across his chest. "Thank you, Levi," he whispered in the quiet room.

The raven-haired man wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Sleep, brat."

Eren's dreams were calm that night, safe. For once, his mother had stopped screaming.

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><p><strong>I REGRET NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.<strong>

**I'm in the process of writing "His Passionate Love", a spin-off of this in which things between Eren and Levi get..._hard__ *coughDICKScough*_**


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